• Take time to jot down memories, phrases, or qualities that come to mind when you think about the person.

• Ask family and friends for their favorite stories—it helps you paint a fuller picture.

• Think about what they stood for: their values, quirks, passions, and the way they made people feel.
  

A simple flow keeps your words organized and comforting:

1. Opening – Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person. Express gratitude for those gathered.

2. Life Highlights – Share key details about their background, milestones, passions, and achievements. In general, focus on their essence. You don’t have to cover every detail of their life. Instead, capture the thread that runs through their stories, their habits, their way of showing up in the world. Ask yourself: “If someone who didn’t know them heard this, what would they understand about their spirit?”

3. Personal Stories – Use anecdotes that capture their ethos—something funny, touching, or uniquely them. Stories stick in people’s minds more than lists of facts. Pick 2–4 short stories that show different sides of them (funny, touching, inspiring, ordinary-but-special). Think of “snapshot moments”—a time in the car, in the kitchen, on a trip—that reflect who they were.

4. Character and Values – Reflect on what they taught you and others, the qualities that defined them. Include Small, Specific Details - A favorite saying, a quirky habit, a signature food, a phrase they always used. These details make people nod, smile, and whisper “That’s so them.”

5. Highlight Their Legacy - What lives on because of them? Lessons they taught, traditions they started, the way they changed people or left the world better. This helps shift from loss to gratitude.

6. Closing – Offer a final thought, blessing, or farewell. You might include a favorite quote, poem, or saying.
   

• Avoid reading a résumé; instead, weave in personality and emotion.

• A couple of light moments (humor, quirks, endearing habits) can bring warmth and relief. Grief can feel heavy—adding a little humor or tenderness helps people breathe. Share a funny story, a witty phrase they used, or a moment of lightheartedness that breaks the tension in the room. Laughter is healing and reminds people of life’s fullness.

• Keep language conversational, as if you’re telling a story to a friend.

• Aim for 5–10 minutes (about 600–1,000 words). Shorter is often more impactful, especially during emotional ceremonies.

• Edit down to the most powerful details rather than trying to include everything.

• Read it aloud to hear how it flows—eulogies are spoken, not read silently. And time yourself.

• Use short sentences and natural phrasing.

• Practice a few times so you’re familiar, even if you need notes at the podium.

• Choose an image, object, or metaphor that represents them.

  • Example: A gardener → seeds they planted.

  • Example: A cook → the way recipes live on.

  • Example: A dandelion → resilience, spreading life, remembrance.

• Refer back to it at the end for a powerful close.

• Speak in your natural voice. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re sentimental, lean into it.

• Don’t worry about being “perfect.” Sincerity resonates more than polished words.

• It’s okay to cry. Pause, breathe, and continue when ready.

• Have a printed copy to lean on.

• Ask someone close if they can step in and finish, just in case.

Close in a way that leaves people feeling comforted and connected. This could be:

• “We will carry her laughter with us.”

• “Every time we see a dandelion, we’ll think of him.”

• Or simply: “We love you, and we will miss you.”